Cafetorium Microwave Adventures

What is it with the Corporate Cafeteria and the inordinate amount of microwaves with no discernible programming mechanisms? I bring my food, ready to nuke it to a warm edible temperature, and find myself confronted with a bank of machines that just have 12 buttons: 10 pre-programmed buttons, Start, and Cancel. Pressing each button generates a seemingly random amount of cooking time, which is completely inconsistent across all the machines. So, I just choose a machine and start guessing, eventually heating my food to somewhere passed room temperature. Clearly, I am not the only person with this issue, as many of the machines are left with random amounts of time remaining on the cooking clock.